Sometimes I feel that I should do more…I should have more of the right words…I should be able to fix things and make others feel better.
After all, I am the pastor’s wife, right?
One night this week I was blessed with the opportunity to minister to several different lades who were all having a really rough week. I use the word ‘minister’ very lightly because the whole time in my mind I was thinking, “you don’t even have the words to say…you may be quoting a few scriptures to them right now but they don’t want to hear that right now, they KNOW these things…they are simply having a rough week/season/life! As their leadership, how are you going to fix this?”
And then the Lord spoke these words into my spirit…
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” – Matthew 11:28-29
Friends, if we want to be like Jesus, if we want to walk and talk like Jesus, if we want to show Jesus, sometimes we must simply provide a shelter from the storms. This is how we be His hands and His feet…by wrapping our arms around our sisters in Christ and letting them cry. No, I can’t fix the situation.
I may not even have the correct “pastor’s wife” words…but I do know a God who heals delivers, restores, strengthens, and sets free! And at times, He chooses me to wrap my arms around a loved one and remind them of these truths.
When you sometimes feel like you aren’t doing enough, simply listen and let them cry…
I’ve questioned God, or in the very least, asked myself, “Why me? Why do I have to do ‘this’ and how come she is able to do ‘that’?
You see, my walk with God may not look just like yours. But this is OK. I’m happy with who I am in God…truly I am. That is until I begin taking my eyes off Jesus and looking at others.
Let me take you to a very familiar point of scripture. It may not make sense in the beginning but hang with me…it should in the end.
And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. Matthew 14:25-29
‘Bid me come Lord!’ I say this…but do I truly mean it? I mean, I want to walk the way God wants me to walk…but on my terms. Oh wait, that doesn’t make sense does it? Let’s try this again. I want to rise to a new level in God…but on my time. Oh…that doesn’t work either. I want to ‘fix my eyes on You Lord…but look at others in the process. I want to know why you’ve asked me to wear skirts all the time when these high profile women’s speakers are modest in their jeans and highly favored and anointed all the same.
These questions don’t come often…but they do come.
Your questions and doubts may not look just like mine. You may be one of these mighty anointed women of God that can do her thing while being modestly dressed in a pair of jeans but still question why other women are able to be a stay at home momma when you have to work a full time job outside of the home.
Ladies, we may all be different but still so much the same. We all have struggles and look at other women and want what they have. If you are anything like me it has nothing to do with material things but everything to do with eternal things. You desire to have a ministry like hers or a life like hers…
I wonder if just maybe during these moments we’ve simply taken our eyes off Jesus.
I know scripture doesn’t quite say this but I wonder if just maybe, while looking at the storm around about him, Peter looked over at the boat and thought “How come I had to be the first one to say ‘bid me come Lord’? Why did I have to open my big mouth? How come they get to stay in the boat but I felt led to take that step over the edge and draw closer to the Lord? Why can’t I stay in the boat too? I know they are going to be used as mightily as I am and they are safe and sound inside the boat…dry…and not sinking…”
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
Ladies, it’s OK that our walks all look different. It’s ok that we are not all cookie cutter. It’s ok…because I might can reach someone that you can’t…and you might can reach someone that I can’t.
This is all part of God’s great plan!
I may choose the Color Run and you may choose the Mud Run…but our destination is all the same!
God has called you to be an ORIGINAL not a DUPLICATE! Stand firm in who He created you to be and keep your eyes on Jesus!
What does that word really mean? And does the church world REALLY want that? Are the Christians truly ready for it?
adjective trans•par•ent \tran(t)s-ˈper-ənt\
: able to be seen through
: easy to notice or understand
: honest and open : not secretive
This definition makes my heart skip a beat.
I want to be transparent. I want to be completely honest and open…but this scares me.
How honest can you be as a Lady in Leadership?
And by ‘honest’ I don’t mean that I am speaking ‘untruths’, but simply not being completely …well, transparent.
Transparency, without a doubt, requires discernment.
I know that in order for me to transparently share all of my Glorious Mess on this blog, God will, without a doubt, receive all the Glory as I live out JOY in my Journey! For there is no mess big enough that God cannot defeat! And I know that every single season of my life is a season to EMBRACE…and learn from…and grow from…and then teach from…and that is how we got here… Confessions of a Blessed Pastor’s Wife.
My husband and I have been in church leadership for most of our married life. This blog is not simply for pastor’s wives but for any lady in leadership. This can mean a pastor’s wife, a pastor, a youth leader, a Sunday School teacher, the church cleaning lady, or new Christians…there is no such thing as too much encouragement or too much JOY!
So as I was doing some research on transparency in the church, I ran across a quote from Ruth Graham:
“My vision is to collaboratively come alongside the Church to help it become a safe place for people (Christians and non Christians) to come just as they are, find a community in which to repent of sin without condemnation and be lead to the next step in their faith journey—basically, a place of outrageous grace and transparency. I believe as people see a transparent community of grace, being real about who we really are, others will see and be drawn into it—the next phase of evangelism.”
Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m not one of those preachers that is “ALL about that Grace” but I DO thank God for GRACE…
“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:16
…however, I do not think we should walk all over it either. Sin is sin…and “we have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” – Romans 3:23 … and others need to be reminded of this. The world believes they can never walk a Christian lifestyle because they can never be ‘perfect’. They need to see that we have all sinned…but through the grace of God we have been SET FREE!
I absolutely believe that when someone gives their heart and life to God, change takes place!
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
Sometimes change happens quickly and sometimes it takes baby steps. This is OK. As long as the steps are going forward and not backward.
But what about all these other things we struggle with as more mature Christians? The struggle is real y’all…
This world is going to hurt you, this world is going to disappoint you, this world is going to let you down. You will struggle with your sanity at times, you will struggle with doubt and insecurity at times, you will struggle with hurt feelings and anger at times. When you stump your toe, it is going to hurt…just like when the world stumps their toe … it hurts!
Being a Christian doesn’t make us some sort of Super Hero or anything…..but we serve the Super Hero of Super Heroes and no matter what life throws our direction, He is right there to help us back up. In all our ups and down, the highs and the lows, throughout the good, the bad, and the ugly!
So, as I begin my journey of transparency, I leave you with this…
It is by yielding ourselves to Christ and saying ‘no’ to the world that we grow into women of God. We are women who revere the Lord, adore our husbands, and cherish our children. We are women of faith who believe in submitting to our husbands and being honored by God rather than disrespecting them and flattering the world. We may stumble but you can’t keep us down. We may grow weary but will be lifted up. We simply cannot be women of this world, for we are undeniably women of God.
I know that at times I create this illusion that I have it all together.
I’m the pastor’s wife after all. 😉
But did you catch a very important word in there?
“Woe to the obstinate children,” declares the Lord, “to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin; who go down to Egypt without consulting me; who look for help to Pharaoh’s protection, to Egypt’s shade for refuge. But Pharaoh’s protection will be to your shame, Egypt’s shade will bring you disgrace… …They say to the seers, “See no more visions!” and to the prophets, “Give us no more visions of what is right! Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions.”
I used to be the mom making the amazing gifts for every single student in my kids class. I used to be the mom who sent the best snacks and drinks…and I NEVER forgot. I used to be the mom who gave the best Christmas and end of the year gifts. Y’all, I even used to be the mom to make goodies for the teacher’s lounge.
Butnow I‘m not.
Somewhere along the way, Super Mom was replaced with ‘last minute, throw it together,doing good to remember they even have snacks’ mom.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel I am a very attentive parent when it comes to my child’s school work and activities (and especially their Spiritual walk) but all those extras? Yeah well, this year I’ve slacked a little in this area.
Teachers, will you please forgive me? We highly respect you and appreciate you so much!
We have been EXTREMELY blessed this year with such amazing faculty. They don’t just teach my children but they love my children…and they inspire my children.
They deserve to be pampered. They deserve treats. They deserve something special.
They don’t deserve the message that says “Can I have your mailing address please?”. In case you are a Super Mom and don’t know what that message means, it means ‘I’m just now ordering your gift so it will not be in by tomorrow.’ (Which happens to be the last day of school by the way)
To the teachers, again…I’m sorry. I will truly try and do better next year.
To all the Super Moms out there…Can you please go above and beyond for our teachers this year to make up for people like me who are in an extremely busy season of life?
To the rest of the moms out there, try and take a few minutes to write out a “Thank You” note to the teachers and if you can swing it, grab them a gift certificate to pamper themselves this Summer. And remember, youarenotalone… more than likely your teacher totally gets it and forgives you. Why? Because if you have teachers are anywhere near as good as ours, they truly teach because they love it. All the extras don’t make or break them. They are just that, extras.
Next year…I will be Super Mom again.
Not really, I probably won’t but I am going to try and be more intentional and show my appreciation towards those who serve my family…:-)
Update: Confession #2
As I slid into the parking lot minutes before the awards ceremony, I stuffed $20 in an envelope.
Seriously, who does that!?!
Mrs. Springer and Mrs. Thralls, I love you…and I’m sorry.